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* The Church for The Internet Generation *
* For The Modern World *
*The First Worldwide Internet Community Church with Biblical principles for all people*
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God said: "You don't have to worry about love. As long as I'm existing, you will be loved"
"I will exist forever"
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Top 7 Bible Verses To Help
With Sadness or Suicidal Thoughts
What Bible verses can we read that can help us when we have suicidal thoughts or are overcome with extreme sadness? What ones would you include?
A Dark Night of the Soul
Almost every believer that I have spoken with has passed through a dark night of the soul at one time or another. They go through bouts of deep sadness or depression. Some are able to pass through these times rather quickly but others have a more difficult time coming out of them. For one thing, it is normal to have times of sadness in this fallen world. These times of sadness only become a serious problem when they begin to linger for days, weeks, and months. When this happens, it’s time to reach out to someone for help. Even more serious are when this sadness leads to thoughts of suicide. When a Christian reaches this point, they can’t put off seeking help and should do so immediately. There are wicked spirits that often put these thoughts in our minds. When we fail to read the Bible on a regular basis and our prayer life drops off precipitously, we can fall prey to feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, and being of no use for God or anyone else. It is sometimes a simple brain chemical imbalance which can be treated. At other times it is counseling that can help lift us out of these deep valleys. The point is, we all get depressed, have times of sadness and may even contemplate suicide but when these feelings stay with us for a long period, they can lead to apathy, irritability, and even suicide.
It’s time to get help, even if it’s in the Word of God, so
Here are some Bible verses that can help us when we have times of extreme sadness or have suicidal thoughts.
Psalm 34:18-19
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”
The fact is when we are going through times of sadness and depression and when we feel completely crushed is just when God nearest to us. The times that we think God is silent is often when He is actually closest. “Many are the afflictions of the righteous” so it’s reassuring to know that many of God’s own children go through these times but the good news is that “the Lord delivers [them] out of them all.” One thing that’s important to realize is that human feelings are the shallowest and most undependable of all human emotions but the Word of God is certain and does not depend on circumstances. He is near the brokenhearted, He saves those crushed in spirit, and even if we have many afflictions, God will deliver us out of every one of them in due time.
Psalm 55:22
“Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.”
Imagine you were carrying around a ball and chain. This weight encumbered you wherever you went. It became a terrible burden that slowed you down, made everything harder, and limited what you could do. If you could rid yourself of this weight, wouldn’t you? Here the Psalmist says that we should “cast [our] burden on the Lord” and not carry it around by ourselves. If you do, “he will sustain you” because He has promised that “he will never permit the righteous to be moved.” We were meant for a relationship with God but when we go it alone, we have to carry everything ourselves. Why not cast this heavy weight onto the broad shoulders of God. He can carry any weight that we cannot for He is God.
First Peter 5:7
“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”This verse is similar to click: Psalm 55:22 but the difference is that we cast our “anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” Psalm 55:22 ( Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.
Why can we give our anxieties over to Him? Peter answers that it is because “he cares for” us. The old saying is true: “A joy shared is doubled but a sorrow shared is halved.” No one needs to carry what they were never intended to carry alone so we must fall on our knees and offer it up to the Lord. He wants us to give these over to Him “because he cares for” us and knows that we can’t carry all these anxieties in our own strength.
Isaiah 53:4
“Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.Here is evidence that God has carried our griefs and our sorrows. These griefs and sorrows surely include our anxieties, our fears, and our burdens. If you need a proof text to see that He has already carried many of our griefs and sorrows, here it is. This verse actually refers to our redemption through Jesus’ atoning sacrifice but part of this refers to our relationship with Him where He takes on what we cannot take on by ourselves. Why not trust Him to help us?
Psalm 34:17
“When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.”Since God is omniscient, nothing escapes His attention and so we can rely on the fact that God hears our cry for help but the point is that we must cry out for help. God helps those who cannot help themselves and when we cry out for help we can be certain that “the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.” When our troubles are too much to bear, cry out to Him. He is ready, willing, and able to deliver us out of these, including those times of great sorrow, sadness, depression, and even when suicide crosses our mind. The real question is, “Will we believe God?” We have every reason to.
Joshua 1:9
“Have I not guided you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Here is one of my favorite memory verses - it is good to remember that God or God-sent angel(s) is with me all the time.
Every one of us has times of weakness. We need to be encouraged and strengthened. Some of our troubles are so big that we are afraid and dismayed but “the Lord [our] God is with [us] wherever [we] go” so take that verse, mediate on it, memorize it, and hide it in your heart. Besides, He has commanded us to be strong and courageous and not to be frightened or dismayed since God goes with us wherever we go.”
Psalm 23:4
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
Taken from Psalm 23 we know that God goes with us through the valleys of life where there is darkness and even shadows of death…even self-inflicted times of thoughts of death. The fact is that these are just shadows and not death itself. God doesn’t keep up from these valleys nor does He promise to take us around them but He does say that He “goes with us through the valleys” so we are not alone. If we remember this, we can “fear no evil” because you can say “you are with me; your rod and staff, they comfort me.” Everyone has to pass through these valleys but not everyone realizes that He passes through them with us.
Conclusion
Affliction = something that causes pain or suffering.
synonyms (click the colored words for further info): suffering, distress, pain, trouble, misery, wretchedness, hardship,misfortune, adversity, sorrow, torment, tribulation, woe , e.g.: "he bore his affliction with great dignity" (dignity = (1) the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect; e.g.:"a man of dignity and unbending principle"
(2) a composed or serious manner or style. e.g.:"he bowed with great dignity", (3) a sense of pride in oneself; self-respect. "it was beneath his dignity to shout
There are many afflictions that the righteous will endure but know this; He is near the crushed and broken hearted, we can cast our burdens on Him and He will sustain us, we can cast our anxieties on Him because He cares for us, even if we don’t see Him He carries our griefs and sorrows if we permit Him to, He wants us to cry out to Him for help because He promises us that He will deliver us out of our troubles, we can be strong and courageous and have no need to fear or be dismayed because He is with us, and even if the long, dark nights in the valley should cast a shadow of death, He goes through them with us. The best way to fight thoughts of sadness and even suicide is to regularly stay in the Word of God. His promises will help us endure these times. If you stay in prolonged periods of sadness or contemplate suicide, please seek help immediately. There is no need to go it alone. God wants us to cry out to Him and seek out godly counsel from others, even if it means seeking medical help.
What Bible verses can we read that can help us when we have suicidal thoughts or are overcome with extreme sadness?
What ones would you include?
Email us at the GCG: [email protected]
Another Reading to Check Out: Click: What Did Jesus Really Look Like: A Look at the Bible Facts
Hosting the conversation of faith
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www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255): Suicide hotline, 24/7 ...Call Now. No matter what problems you are struggling with, hurting yourself ...
Get Help - Members Site - Crisis Center Locator - Reasons to Call - Get Help - National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
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In this website go to tab" Radio/TV Shows" and find there the show date (in red)
Sunday 4/20/14 The Miracle Show
and study in all details the printable material for that day's Radio Show.
Then apply the information - you will enjoy your life and find new richness & riches for your life.
___________________
Quotation
"No human can fill the void of happiness for you, only you withhold that power.
And once you unleash the power of extraordinary bliss your soul will be content with life."(Ritu Ghatourey)
______________
NOTICE: GO in this website to tab: University & College to its very end and follow the instruction for:
How to Create A Miracle - Miracle Creation Prayer -
for:
(1) Supernatural Miracle Instructions to Reach Any Goal
and/or
(2) Supernatural Miracle Instructions to Conquer Any Difficulty
PRAYER TYPE #2 - MCP - Miracle Creation Prayer - GO in this website to tab: University & College to its very end and follow the instructions
____________________________________________________________
How to Create A Miracle - Miracle Creation Prayer -
for:
(1) Supernatural Miracle Instructions to Reach Any Goal
and/or
(2) Supernatural Miracle Instructions to Conquer Any Difficulty
PRAYER TYPE #2 - MCP - Miracle Creation Prayer - GO in this website to tab: University & College to its very end and follow the instructions
____________________________________________________________
Afraid of death? Pop a Tylenol
The common painkiller may help certain people deal with their own mortality
If you decide to tale Tylenol, only 1 or 2 tablets, no more during 24 h
WARNING: GCG, Inc. is not promoting, not endorsing & not suggesting to start popping Tylenol
In case you do, you do it based on your own evaluation and on your own risk
Contact a competent therapist/counselor/Church Pastor/any other source as:
Click: National Suicide Prevention Lifelinewww.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255): Suicide hotline, 24/7 free and confidential, nationwide network of crisis centers.
Click: Get Help - Reasons to Call - Crisis Centers - Get Involved
Click colored for further info
If death's cold embrace is the kind of thing that keeps you up at night, researchers may have found just the thing for you. And, better still, it's probably in your medicine cabinet right now.
Click: Tylenol
Yes, a team of psychologists from the University of British Columbia discovered that acetaminophen may help certain individuals overcome the crippling fear and anxiety they feel when contemplating their own mortality. For these special cases, the pain is palpable.
This study, says PsychCentral, "posits an expanded view of how the human brain processes different kinds of pain" — in this case, the psychological kind.
Lead researcher Daniel Randles explains:
"Pain exists in many forms, including the distress that people feel when exposed to thoughts of existential uncertainty and death," says Randles. "Our study suggests these anxieties may be processed as 'pain' by the brain — but Tylenol seems to inhibit the signal telling the brain that something is wrong." [PsychCentral]
This isn't the first time Tylenol's pain-fighting powers have been tapped to nurse psychological trauma. Previous research suggests that the fever reducer may even help singles cope with the anguish of a newly broken heart.
Click green for further info
WARNING: STAF, Inc. is not promoting, not endorsing & not suggesting to start popping Tylenol
In case you do, you do it based on your own evaluation and on your own risk
If you decide to take Tylenol, only 1 or 2, no more during 24 h and ONLY temporarily, not every day,
not even every week and perhaps not even every month
Source: ABC News
_______________________________________________________
The common painkiller may help certain people deal with their own mortality
If you decide to tale Tylenol, only 1 or 2 tablets, no more during 24 h
WARNING: GCG, Inc. is not promoting, not endorsing & not suggesting to start popping Tylenol
In case you do, you do it based on your own evaluation and on your own risk
Contact a competent therapist/counselor/Church Pastor/any other source as:
Click: National Suicide Prevention Lifelinewww.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255): Suicide hotline, 24/7 free and confidential, nationwide network of crisis centers.
Click: Get Help - Reasons to Call - Crisis Centers - Get Involved
Click colored for further info
If death's cold embrace is the kind of thing that keeps you up at night, researchers may have found just the thing for you. And, better still, it's probably in your medicine cabinet right now.
Click: Tylenol
Yes, a team of psychologists from the University of British Columbia discovered that acetaminophen may help certain individuals overcome the crippling fear and anxiety they feel when contemplating their own mortality. For these special cases, the pain is palpable.
This study, says PsychCentral, "posits an expanded view of how the human brain processes different kinds of pain" — in this case, the psychological kind.
Lead researcher Daniel Randles explains:
"Pain exists in many forms, including the distress that people feel when exposed to thoughts of existential uncertainty and death," says Randles. "Our study suggests these anxieties may be processed as 'pain' by the brain — but Tylenol seems to inhibit the signal telling the brain that something is wrong." [PsychCentral]
This isn't the first time Tylenol's pain-fighting powers have been tapped to nurse psychological trauma. Previous research suggests that the fever reducer may even help singles cope with the anguish of a newly broken heart.
Click green for further info
WARNING: STAF, Inc. is not promoting, not endorsing & not suggesting to start popping Tylenol
In case you do, you do it based on your own evaluation and on your own risk
If you decide to take Tylenol, only 1 or 2, no more during 24 h and ONLY temporarily, not every day,
not even every week and perhaps not even every month
Source: ABC News
_______________________________________________________
A heartbreaking story out of Kazakhstan & other stories of a dog's love
Dog killed while saving owner from train
Click colored areas for further information
According to reports, a dog was killed while trying to save its owner from an oncoming train.
The suicidal owner had passed out on the train tracks after drinking a bottle of alcohol. According to Russian news site Ria Novosti, the man told authorities that his dog dragged him to safety. The dog wasn't able to avoid being hit.
"Upon seeing the train, the dog started pulling its owner away," said Aida Muldashevam, who investigated the incident. "When train drivers saw the dog on the rail tracks, they used the emergency brake."
Unfortunately, it was too late. The dog was killed instantly, while the owner was taken to the hospital. He had two broken ribs and an injury to his shoulder.
Dogs have a well-deserved reputation for loyalty. At a funeral for a Navy SEAL who died in Afghanistan in 2011, dog Hawkeye lay by the casket during the memorial service. And in a small village in China last year, a dog remained at its owner's grave for weeks. When villagers took the dog back to town, the dog returned to the grave. Villagers eventually decided to build the dog a kennel near its departed friend.
Source:
By Mike Krumboltz, Yahoo! News
This is for your private use, only
________________________
Dog killed while saving owner from train
Click colored areas for further information
According to reports, a dog was killed while trying to save its owner from an oncoming train.
The suicidal owner had passed out on the train tracks after drinking a bottle of alcohol. According to Russian news site Ria Novosti, the man told authorities that his dog dragged him to safety. The dog wasn't able to avoid being hit.
"Upon seeing the train, the dog started pulling its owner away," said Aida Muldashevam, who investigated the incident. "When train drivers saw the dog on the rail tracks, they used the emergency brake."
Unfortunately, it was too late. The dog was killed instantly, while the owner was taken to the hospital. He had two broken ribs and an injury to his shoulder.
Dogs have a well-deserved reputation for loyalty. At a funeral for a Navy SEAL who died in Afghanistan in 2011, dog Hawkeye lay by the casket during the memorial service. And in a small village in China last year, a dog remained at its owner's grave for weeks. When villagers took the dog back to town, the dog returned to the grave. Villagers eventually decided to build the dog a kennel near its departed friend.
Source:
By Mike Krumboltz, Yahoo! News
This is for your private use, only
________________________
Say Goodbye to Anxiety
CLICK: 1 Peter 5:7 “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you” (NLT)
It is a happy way of soothing sorrow when we can feel, "He cares for me." Christian, do not dishonor religion by always wearing a brow of care; come, cast your burden upon your Lord. You are staggering beneath a weight that your Father would not feel. What seems to you a crushing burden would be to Him but as the small dust of the balance. Nothing is so sweet as to
Lie passive in God's hands, And know no will but His. God provides and handles all your needs.
O child of suffering, be patient; God has not passed you over in His providence. He who is the feeder of sparrows will also furnish you with what you need. Do not sit in despair; hope on, hope ever. Take up the arms of faith against a sea of trouble, and your opposition shall yet end your distresses. There is One who cares for you. His eye is fixed on you, His heart beats with pity for your woe, and His omnipotent hand shall bring you the needed help. The darkest cloud shall scatter itself in showers of mercy. The blackest gloom shall give place to the morning. He, if you are one of His family, will bind up your wounds and heal your broken heart. Do not doubt His grace because of your tribulation, but believe that He loves you as much in seasons of trouble as in times of happiness. What a serene and quiet life might you lead if you would leave providing to the God of providence!
With a little oil in the cruse and a handful of meal in the barrel, Elijah outlived the famine, and you will do the same. Study (click): 1 Kings 17
Because God cares for you, why do you need to care too? Can you trust Him for your soul and not for your body? He has never refused to bear your burdens; He has never fainted under their weight. Come, then, soul!
Say good-bye to anxiety and leave all your concerns in the hands of our gracious God
_____________________
F-E-A-R = false-evidence-appearing-real
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Quote of the Day
"Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world."
Ralph Waldo Emerson - He was seen as a champion of individualism and a prescient critic of the countervailing pressures of society, and he disseminated his thoughts through dozens of published essays and more than 1,500 public lectures across the United States. He helped spark the transcendentalist movement with the essay Nature, which described his belief in the spiritual essence of humanity and the natural world. He was born in Boston in 1803. He was a Unitarian minister until he resigned in 1832 to become a philosopher and writer. He suffered the untimely deaths of many of his loved ones: three brothers, his first wife at age 20, and his eldest son at age five. Emerson died in 1882. Click: Ralph Waldo Emerson
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"Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world."
Ralph Waldo Emerson - He was seen as a champion of individualism and a prescient critic of the countervailing pressures of society, and he disseminated his thoughts through dozens of published essays and more than 1,500 public lectures across the United States. He helped spark the transcendentalist movement with the essay Nature, which described his belief in the spiritual essence of humanity and the natural world. He was born in Boston in 1803. He was a Unitarian minister until he resigned in 1832 to become a philosopher and writer. He suffered the untimely deaths of many of his loved ones: three brothers, his first wife at age 20, and his eldest son at age five. Emerson died in 1882. Click: Ralph Waldo Emerson
________________________________________________________________________
StopBullying.gov: Homewww.stopbullying.gov/
Bullying can happen anywhere and to anyone. Get the information that you need to helpstop bullying at school, online, and in the community. For more ...Kids - Policies & Laws - Teens - About Us
Definition to bully = use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants
synonyms:persecute, oppress, tyrannize, browbeat, harass, torment, intimidate,strong-arm, dominate
Espanol:
StopBullying.gov: Inicioespanol.stopbullying.gov/
El acoso escolar puede ocurrirle a cualquiera, en cualquier lugar. Obtenga la información que necesita para ayudar a detener el acoso en la escuela, en línea y ...Reportar casos de acoso por ... - Papel de los niños - Cómo tratar el tema del acoso
______________________________
More Evidence That Bullying Raises Kids' Suicide Risk
50 percent of kids in grades 4 to 12 reported being bullied within the previous month
Nearly one-third said they were bullies themselves
(of course, copying is common)
Children and teens involved in bullying -- victims and perpetrators alike -- are more likely to think about suicide or attempt it. And cyber bullying appears more strongly linked to suicidal thoughts than other forms of bullying, a new research review finds.
The findings "establish with more certainty that bullying is related to suicide thoughts and attempts," said study lead author Mitch van Geel, a researcher with the Institute of Education and Child Studies at Leiden University in the Netherlands. "And we establish that these results hold for boys and girls, and older and younger children."
Bullying is widespread among children and teens. According to previous studies, almost 50 percent of kids in grades 4 to 12 reported being bullied within the previous month. Nearly one-third said they were bullies themselves.
The new results, published March 10 in the journal JAMA Pediatrics, are based on 43 previous studies. They don't confirm that bullying directly pushes kids to be suicidal, however. It's possible that the connection is more complex, or even that suicidal kids are more likely to be bullied, the researchers said.
In recent years, highly publicized suicides of young people have focused attention on the subject. Last August, a Greenwich, Conn., sophomore who reportedly sustained years of bullying killed himself after the first day of school, according to news reports. In October, a 15-year-old from Carterville, Ill., who committed suicide reportedly left a note saying he was bullied at school. Two days before his death, two Florida girls were arrested for bullying a 12-year-old who killed herself.
Bullying can take many forms. Physical threats and attacks, such as shoving, pushing and hitting, as well as teasing, name-calling and spreading rumors are well-known bully behaviors.
Less common statistically but possibly more harmful is bullying through technology such as email and social media, the researchers said. The exact reasons for this aren't clear, they said, but more people can be reached through the Internet and offensive material can be stored and resent indefinitely.
Van Geel and his colleagues launched the new review of existing research to better understand the connection between bullying and suicide.
The researchers examined 34 studies with a total of about 285,000 participants that explored the relationship between bullying and suicidal thoughts. They looked at nine studies, with about 70,000 participants, that focused on bullying and suicide attempts. Only three studies in the review dealt with cyber-bullying.
The studies, which involved 9- to 21-year-olds, were from countries as varied as the United States, South Africa, New Zealand and South Korea.
In general, the studies found that bullies and bully-victims -- people who bully others and are bullied themselves -- are at higher risk of suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts. The design of the review didn't allow the authors to quantify the increased level of risk in lay terms, but a statistical analysis suggests the increased risk is significant, van Geel said.
Researchers believe suicidal thoughts and attempts are connected to completed suicides, van Geel said.
But spotting kids at risk of being bullied is a challenge, van Geel said. "Often victims choose not to share their problems," he said. Some fear they won't be taken seriously, or worry that talking might make the bullying worse, he said.
"Some victims may go unnoticed for a very long time," he added.
Still, some children -- gay or obese kids, for example -- are especially prone to becoming victims of bullying, van Geel said. "Teachers might use this knowledge to identify potential victims," he said.
Could kids be more vulnerable to bullying because they're already depressed?
Todd Herrenkohl, a professor of social work at the University of Washington, studies bullying and said this possibility deserves more research. Bullied kids often stand out as being different from others, he said, and those who are depressed or have other mental issues could fit into that vulnerable category.
As for future research, Herrenkohl said, one of the big mysteries about bullying is how some victims are resilient and recover, while others suffer. Researchers need to understand "how to help kids not only avoid becoming victims but rebound from a bullying experience in a way that doesn't lead to suicide attempts," he said.
For now, the authors support programs that teach kids to be more than bystanders when they witness bullying. Also valuable are programs for parents and educators on identifying and preventing bullying, they said.
"Make children feel that they can safely talk to teachers about bullying, and make children feel that bullying is a problem that will be taken seriously," van Geel said.
More information
For more about bullying, click: StopBullying.gov.
Espanol:
StopBullying.gov: Inicioespanol.stopbullying.gov/
SOURCES: Mitch van Geel, Ph.D., assistant professor, Institute of Education and Child Studies, Leiden University, the Netherlands; Todd Herrenkohl, Ph.D., professor of social work, University of Washington, Seattle; March 10, 2014, JAMA Pediatrics
Save The American Family - STAF, Inc., www.staf1org.weebly.com
_________________________________
Bullying can happen anywhere and to anyone. Get the information that you need to helpstop bullying at school, online, and in the community. For more ...Kids - Policies & Laws - Teens - About Us
Definition to bully = use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants
synonyms:persecute, oppress, tyrannize, browbeat, harass, torment, intimidate,strong-arm, dominate
Espanol:
StopBullying.gov: Inicioespanol.stopbullying.gov/
El acoso escolar puede ocurrirle a cualquiera, en cualquier lugar. Obtenga la información que necesita para ayudar a detener el acoso en la escuela, en línea y ...Reportar casos de acoso por ... - Papel de los niños - Cómo tratar el tema del acoso
______________________________
More Evidence That Bullying Raises Kids' Suicide Risk
50 percent of kids in grades 4 to 12 reported being bullied within the previous month
Nearly one-third said they were bullies themselves
(of course, copying is common)
Children and teens involved in bullying -- victims and perpetrators alike -- are more likely to think about suicide or attempt it. And cyber bullying appears more strongly linked to suicidal thoughts than other forms of bullying, a new research review finds.
The findings "establish with more certainty that bullying is related to suicide thoughts and attempts," said study lead author Mitch van Geel, a researcher with the Institute of Education and Child Studies at Leiden University in the Netherlands. "And we establish that these results hold for boys and girls, and older and younger children."
Bullying is widespread among children and teens. According to previous studies, almost 50 percent of kids in grades 4 to 12 reported being bullied within the previous month. Nearly one-third said they were bullies themselves.
The new results, published March 10 in the journal JAMA Pediatrics, are based on 43 previous studies. They don't confirm that bullying directly pushes kids to be suicidal, however. It's possible that the connection is more complex, or even that suicidal kids are more likely to be bullied, the researchers said.
In recent years, highly publicized suicides of young people have focused attention on the subject. Last August, a Greenwich, Conn., sophomore who reportedly sustained years of bullying killed himself after the first day of school, according to news reports. In October, a 15-year-old from Carterville, Ill., who committed suicide reportedly left a note saying he was bullied at school. Two days before his death, two Florida girls were arrested for bullying a 12-year-old who killed herself.
Bullying can take many forms. Physical threats and attacks, such as shoving, pushing and hitting, as well as teasing, name-calling and spreading rumors are well-known bully behaviors.
Less common statistically but possibly more harmful is bullying through technology such as email and social media, the researchers said. The exact reasons for this aren't clear, they said, but more people can be reached through the Internet and offensive material can be stored and resent indefinitely.
Van Geel and his colleagues launched the new review of existing research to better understand the connection between bullying and suicide.
The researchers examined 34 studies with a total of about 285,000 participants that explored the relationship between bullying and suicidal thoughts. They looked at nine studies, with about 70,000 participants, that focused on bullying and suicide attempts. Only three studies in the review dealt with cyber-bullying.
The studies, which involved 9- to 21-year-olds, were from countries as varied as the United States, South Africa, New Zealand and South Korea.
In general, the studies found that bullies and bully-victims -- people who bully others and are bullied themselves -- are at higher risk of suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts. The design of the review didn't allow the authors to quantify the increased level of risk in lay terms, but a statistical analysis suggests the increased risk is significant, van Geel said.
Researchers believe suicidal thoughts and attempts are connected to completed suicides, van Geel said.
But spotting kids at risk of being bullied is a challenge, van Geel said. "Often victims choose not to share their problems," he said. Some fear they won't be taken seriously, or worry that talking might make the bullying worse, he said.
"Some victims may go unnoticed for a very long time," he added.
Still, some children -- gay or obese kids, for example -- are especially prone to becoming victims of bullying, van Geel said. "Teachers might use this knowledge to identify potential victims," he said.
Could kids be more vulnerable to bullying because they're already depressed?
Todd Herrenkohl, a professor of social work at the University of Washington, studies bullying and said this possibility deserves more research. Bullied kids often stand out as being different from others, he said, and those who are depressed or have other mental issues could fit into that vulnerable category.
As for future research, Herrenkohl said, one of the big mysteries about bullying is how some victims are resilient and recover, while others suffer. Researchers need to understand "how to help kids not only avoid becoming victims but rebound from a bullying experience in a way that doesn't lead to suicide attempts," he said.
For now, the authors support programs that teach kids to be more than bystanders when they witness bullying. Also valuable are programs for parents and educators on identifying and preventing bullying, they said.
"Make children feel that they can safely talk to teachers about bullying, and make children feel that bullying is a problem that will be taken seriously," van Geel said.
More information
For more about bullying, click: StopBullying.gov.
Espanol:
StopBullying.gov: Inicioespanol.stopbullying.gov/
SOURCES: Mitch van Geel, Ph.D., assistant professor, Institute of Education and Child Studies, Leiden University, the Netherlands; Todd Herrenkohl, Ph.D., professor of social work, University of Washington, Seattle; March 10, 2014, JAMA Pediatrics
Save The American Family - STAF, Inc., www.staf1org.weebly.com
_________________________________
You can look anything up in The Bible at the internet (click: Bible Gateway
Study and save these following Bible verses
Create a file in your computer and/or copy in your special study notebook for your Bible quotes
Anxiety: John 14:27 - Philippians 4:6-7 Anger: Ephesians: 4:26-27 Depression: Psalm 40:1-3 & Psalm 34:17,19
Discouragement: Deuteronomy 31:6 Fear: Isaiah 41:10 & Psalm 112:7-8 & Psalm 32:7
Frustration: Hebrews 10:36 & Isaiah 26:3-4 Guilt: 1John 1:9 & Isaiah 44:22 & Isaiah 1:18 & Hebrew 8:12
Worry: 1Peter 5:7 & Isaiah 26:3-4 & Luke 12:22-28
YOUR GOOD, PAIN FREE, HAPPY, PROSPEROUS, SUCCESSFUL FUTURE: Jeremiah 29: 11-13
_____________________________________
Philippians 4:13 (New Living Translation)
13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
___________________
At the end of this tab you'll find:
HOW TO "POWER PRAY"
WITH THE RESULTS COMING
A 3-step guide for daily praying
By Dr. Christian, Ph.D., N.D., D.D., Pastor of GCG
____________________________________________
Every thought has a biochemical reality in the body. Uplifting thoughts and
emotions are associated with an entirely different mix of neuropeptides*)and hormones than are thoughts of panic, fear or anger. So entertain thoughts that produce the biochemistry of health and joy.”*)Neuropeptides are small protein-like molecules used by neurons to communicate with each other. They are neuronal signaling molecules, influence the activity of the brain in specific ways and are thus involved in particular brain functions, like analgesia, reward, food intake, learning and memory.
_____________________
F-E-A-R = false-evidence-appearing-real
_______________________
HOW TO "POWER PRAY"
WITH THE RESULTS COMING
A 3-step guide
By Dr. Christian, Ph.D., N.D., D.D., Pastor of GCG
Prepare to pray
(1) Take your Bible - Use a modern language Bible
The content and the biblical message is the same - only the language is based on today's English: (a) NLT = New Living Translation (published in the 2000's), or (b) The Book (= the title of this Bible - published in the 1980's- (a) and (b) both by Tyndale Publishing House), or (c) another recent one: New International Version (NIV) or (d) any other modern language Bible as your favorite.
Use a dedicated Bible for your studying and learning - a Bible copy that is only in your use. Then you can write notes on the pages and want to keep your notes private.
If English is your first language and you have a "dear" family Bible - King James (KJV) Version, you may use it; however, use also a second version aside, any of the modern English language Bibles because The KJ version Bible is based on the 1600's / 1700's English. English is spoken differently today than 300 - 400 years ago. If English is not your 1st language, you would not necessarily understand a KSV. When you use KJV and a modern language version compare their texts because the modern language Bible text often can make the meaning of The Bible even for a native English speaker easier to understand and to apply. Not applying is plain lip service or ear service and is not helpful for you. Read your Bible aloud as often you can - for any human it is then easier to comprehend. Reason: when additional senses are in use at the same time, it helps in your concentration and the brain will process and allow you to comprehend the meaning of the text effortlessly and with deeper clarity. This is called the "5-Sense Method"™ and was developed by Dr. Christian, Pastor of GCG, in the early 1990's for the then new super-learning techniques and is now in a worldwide use. In a public place read study your Bible by silently forming the text.
If English is not your first language, use anyway a modern English language Bible (not your native language Bible except, perhaps only for comparing the translations) - you then learn modern English for everyday use and thus you benefit more and for many other purposes. Study always the new words from your dictionary or using an internet English language dictionary (= put the new word on "search" plus ask for its "definition". Create a file in your computer and easily transfer the meaning for further studying..
(2) Study (by reading aloud) in The Bible the following passages
(important: in this following order)
(1) John 14: 1 and John 14: 11-14
(2) Mark 11: 22 - 25 + 26 (Verse 26 is not in every Bible but is important = it is the same as in Matthew
6:15 - Study it from Matthew 6:15 if your Bible is lacking it)
(3) John 15: 7
(4) John 15: 16 (the last full sentence, only) and the verse 17
(5) James 1: 2 - 6
(6) Romans 8: 31 - 32
(7) Jeremiah
(3) PRAY "IN THE NAME OF LORD JESUS CHRIST"
(1) Say first: "God, in the name of Lord Jesus Christ I am praying this prayer"
(2) Then: "say what you are praying for - describe in all details
(3) AND: believe it to happen without any doubt",
(4) At the end you say "Thank you, God - for your miracles, in the Name of Lord Jesus
Christ I am asking you to hear my prayer. In the name of Lord Jesus Christ, Amen."
_____
YOUR PRAYERS WILL ALWAYS BE ANSWERED when it is to your own real best
and is not hurting anyone else.
*) "Amen" actually means "So be it"
The Greek Old Testament usually translates it as "so be it"; in the English Bible it is often translated as "verily" or "truly." As regards the etymology, Amen is a derivative from the Hebrew verb "aman" = "to strengthen" or "Confirm".
Please remember: God is NOT you "wish fountain" - your prayer content must not be hurting
anyone - God knows best what you need. When your prayer is for your own best, God will grant
it. On the other hand, none of us always knows what is best for us.
INTERNET BIBLE STUDY TOOLS:
(1) Create a file in your computer for your Bible Studies
(2) Copy Bible quotes or chapters directly from the internet by using:
(a) This an active hyperlink and will go directly to that site - click it: Bible Gateway
The instructions are on that site. You can choose any Bible translation version - but: follow GCG advice to get the best results.
On the website: Enter the Bible passage (e.g. John 3:16), keyword (e.g. Jesus, prophet, etc.) or topic (e.g. salvation) - you find it
Their main website: BibleGateway.com
(b) A second tool is this site - this is an active hyperlink - click it: http://www.biblestudytools.com
(c) Listen to every Radio Show or see every TV Show - both titled The Miracle Show.
The links on this website at tab: "Radio & TV Shows" - (a) you'll earn CEU & College/University credits free, never expire, (b) in the shows you'll learn continuously new to improve your and your family's life. The shows will also teach our Power Healing - supernatural healing by God.
Copyrights By Dr. Christian, Ph.D., N.D., D.D., Pastor of GCG - Global Church of God, New York, NY - Mailing: address: GPO 339, New York, NY 10116-0339
Phone: (401) 427-2227 or (212) 946-1234 or 1-(888) HAVE GOD (= 428-3463) - Email: [email protected]
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Take Care of Your Precious Body
Your Body Is Your Tool And Vehicle to Success & Happiness in Life
"Know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
We live in a body-conscious world. No one can escape the pressure to be thinner, eat right, look a certain way, or wear a certain perfume/cologne. The messages bombard you every time you turn on the TV, read a magazine or walk through a mall. Hundreds of diet books and health magazines line the shelves of bookstores across the nation. Why? I'll say it again: Because we live in a body-conscious world.
The Christian life, however, directs us to look at the body differently than the world sees it. The Bible tells us that our body is a temple. In fact, if you look in the Old Testament and read the details that went into forming the temple, you'll find a vast amount of information. Page after page describes the incredible care and detail that went into creating the House of the Lord. Psalm 139 tells us that the Lord created us with the same detail and care. He knit us together in our mother's womb. You were fearfully and wonderfully made. The Lord, our Creator, took care when He designed us. Still, because the world's body-conscious message can be found anywhere at any time, the probability of missing God's message increases.
Too often we don't treat our bodies well. Whether it is sexual immorality, poor eating habits, lack of rest, or drug and alcohol use, we would be wrong to think that the damage to our body does not affect our spirit. The Lord made our bodies special; a place where the New Testament says the Holy Spirit will live within us. He leaves it up to us to take care of our bodies.
Robert Murray McCheyne, a Scottish theologian and pastor, was never known for having great health, but throughout his seven years of ministry he was forced to take time off periodically due to his overworking and exhausting himself. Robert Murray McCheyne said to a friend as he lay dying at the age of thirty, "God gave me a message to deliver and a horse to ride. Alas, I destroyed the horse, and now I cannot deliver the message." The horse he referred to was his own body.
The Lord made you special and unique and with great purpose. He also gave you a body in which to deliver your message. Regardless of calling or station in life, you have a message and a purpose in Christ. So, don’t kill the horse. Take care of your body and keep delivering your message.
GOING DEEPER:
1. What are ways you are not treating your body well? How can you make changes?
2. Why is it often hard to hear above the voices of people to hear the Lord? What are ways you can be deliberate in seeking peace with Him?
FURTHER READING:
Psalm 139:13-19; John 14:15-17
_______________________________________________________________________________
God will
open up
the world
for you
__________________________
According to the gospel accounts,
here are the miracles Jesus performed
(though this is an incomplete list according to John 21:25):
here are the miracles Jesus performed
(though this is an incomplete list according to John 21:25):
- Jesus changed water into wine (John 2:1-11).
- Jesus cured the nobleman's son (John 4:46,47).
- The great haul of fishes (Luke 5:1-11).
- Jesus cast out an unclean spirit (Mark 1:23-28).
- Jesus cured Peter's mother-in-law of a fever (Mark 1:30,31).
- Jesus healed a leper (Mark 1:40-45).
- Jesus healed the centurion's servant (Matthew 8:5-13).
- Jesus raised the widow's son from the dead (Luke 7:11-18).
- Jesus stilled the storm (Matthew 8:23-27).
- Jesus cured two demoniacs (Matthew 8:28-34).
- Jesus cured the paralytic (Matthew 9:1-8).
- Jesus raised the ruler's daughter from the dead (Matthew 9:18-26).
- Jesus cured a woman of an issue of blood (Luke 8:43-48).
- Jesus opened the eyes of two blind men (Matthew 9:27-31).
- Jesus loosened the tongue of a man who could not speak (Matthew 9:32,33).
- Jesus healed an invalid man at the pool called Bethesda (John 5:1-9).
- Jesus restored a withered hand (Matthew 12:10-13).
- Jesus cured a demon-possessed man (Matthew 12:22).
- Jesus fed at least five thousand people (Matthew 14:15-21).
- Jesus healed a woman of Canaan (Matthew 15:22-28).
- Jesus cured a deaf and mute man (Mark 7:31-37).
- Jesus fed at least four thousand people (Matthew 15:32-39).
- Jesus opened the eyes of a blind man (Mark 8:22-26).
- Jesus cured a boy who was plagued by a demon (Matthew 17:14-21).
- Jesus opened the eyes of a man born blind (John 9:1-38)
- Jesus cured a woman who had been afflicted eighteen years (Luke 17:11-17).
- Jesus cured a man of dropsy (Luke 14:1-4).
- Jesus cleansed ten lepers (Luke 17:11-19).
- Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead (John 11:1-46).
- Jesus opened the eyes of two blind men (Matthew 20:30-34).
- Jesus caused the fig tree to wither (Matthew 21:18-22).
- Jesus restored the ear of the high priest's servant (Luke 22:50,51).
- Jesus rose from the dead (Luke 24:5-6).
- The second great haul of fishes (John 21:1-14). ______________________________________
Late night TV/computer sessions linked to depression
Source:
By Chris Wickham | Reuters
This is for your personal use, only
LONDON (Reuters) - Sitting in front of a computer or TV screen late into the night or leaving it on when you fall asleep could increase your chances of becoming depressed, according to a study by U.S. scientists.
The study, by a team of neuroscientists at Ohio State University Medical Center partly funded by theU.S. Department of Defense, will give screen-addicted night owls pause for thought.
The researchers - who exposed hamsters to dim light at night and picked up changes in behavior and the brain that bore striking similarities to symptoms in depressed people - said a surge in exposure to artificial light at night in the last 50 years had coincided with rising rates of depression, particularly among women, who are twice as prone as men.
"The results we found in hamsters are consistent with what we know about depression in humans," said Tracy Bedrosian, who led the study, published in the journal Molecular Psychiatry.
Although exposure to night-time light has been linked to an increased risk of breast cancer and obesity, the relationship with mood disorders is poorly understood.
The hamsters involved in the experiment were exposed for four weeks to dim light at night - equivalent to a television screen in a darkened room - and the results compared to a control group exposed to a normal light-dark cycle.
The experimental group was then moved back onto a normal cycle for one, two or four weeks before they were tested.
The results showed they were less active and had a lower than usual interest in drinking sugar water - both symptoms are comparable to signs of depression in people.
The similarity extended to their biological make-up. The researchers found changes in the hippocampus - a part of the brain - that were consistent with people suffering depression.
The hamsters exposed to dim light at night were also shown to produce more of a protein called tumor necrosis factor (TNF), a chemical messenger that is mobilized when the body is injured or infected and causes inflammation in its efforts to repair the damage.
"Researchers have found a strong association in people between chronic inflammation and depression," said Randy Nelson, who also worked on the study. "That's why it is very significant that we found this relationship between dim light at night and increased expression of TNF."
The scientists found that blocking the effects of TNF with a drug prevented signs of depression in the hamsters, though some other indicators in the structure of the brain were unaffected.
For instance, hamsters that were exposed to dim light at night still showed a much reduced density of dendritic spines - hairlike growths on brain cells that are used to send chemical messages from one cell to another.
The overall symptoms of depression were reversible, the researchers said. Those hamsters returned to a normal light-dark cycle saw both their TNF levels and the density of their dendritic spines return to normal after about two weeks.
"The good news is that people who stay up late in front of the television and computer may be able to undo some of the harmful effects just by going back to a regular light-dark cycle and minimizing their exposure to artificial light at night," Bedrosian said.
(Editing by Andrew Osborn)
__________________________________
Source:
By Chris Wickham | Reuters
This is for your personal use, only
LONDON (Reuters) - Sitting in front of a computer or TV screen late into the night or leaving it on when you fall asleep could increase your chances of becoming depressed, according to a study by U.S. scientists.
The study, by a team of neuroscientists at Ohio State University Medical Center partly funded by theU.S. Department of Defense, will give screen-addicted night owls pause for thought.
The researchers - who exposed hamsters to dim light at night and picked up changes in behavior and the brain that bore striking similarities to symptoms in depressed people - said a surge in exposure to artificial light at night in the last 50 years had coincided with rising rates of depression, particularly among women, who are twice as prone as men.
"The results we found in hamsters are consistent with what we know about depression in humans," said Tracy Bedrosian, who led the study, published in the journal Molecular Psychiatry.
Although exposure to night-time light has been linked to an increased risk of breast cancer and obesity, the relationship with mood disorders is poorly understood.
The hamsters involved in the experiment were exposed for four weeks to dim light at night - equivalent to a television screen in a darkened room - and the results compared to a control group exposed to a normal light-dark cycle.
The experimental group was then moved back onto a normal cycle for one, two or four weeks before they were tested.
The results showed they were less active and had a lower than usual interest in drinking sugar water - both symptoms are comparable to signs of depression in people.
The similarity extended to their biological make-up. The researchers found changes in the hippocampus - a part of the brain - that were consistent with people suffering depression.
The hamsters exposed to dim light at night were also shown to produce more of a protein called tumor necrosis factor (TNF), a chemical messenger that is mobilized when the body is injured or infected and causes inflammation in its efforts to repair the damage.
"Researchers have found a strong association in people between chronic inflammation and depression," said Randy Nelson, who also worked on the study. "That's why it is very significant that we found this relationship between dim light at night and increased expression of TNF."
The scientists found that blocking the effects of TNF with a drug prevented signs of depression in the hamsters, though some other indicators in the structure of the brain were unaffected.
For instance, hamsters that were exposed to dim light at night still showed a much reduced density of dendritic spines - hairlike growths on brain cells that are used to send chemical messages from one cell to another.
The overall symptoms of depression were reversible, the researchers said. Those hamsters returned to a normal light-dark cycle saw both their TNF levels and the density of their dendritic spines return to normal after about two weeks.
"The good news is that people who stay up late in front of the television and computer may be able to undo some of the harmful effects just by going back to a regular light-dark cycle and minimizing their exposure to artificial light at night," Bedrosian said.
(Editing by Andrew Osborn)
__________________________________
The Case of My Missing Confidence
By JESSICA LOTT
When I was 23, and living in San Francisco, I worked at a high-end design and jewelry store that not many people went into. One afternoon, as I was sitting at a desk with a phone that never seemed to ring, a man came in. He had a brown beard, a gas station cap and aviator sunglasses. A knapsack. He tripped over a stool, walked up to the desk, and pulled a nine-inch chef’s knife from the waistband of his pants. Later I would wonder about this. How had he been carrying it around, comfortably?
This was 1998, and so I don’t remember exactly what he said, but I think it may have been something like, “Don’t worry.” Or more likely, “Don’t panic.” I did panic. But by then, things were in motion. He needed me to be present. The sides of the cases had a fancy little mechanism that he couldn’t figure out. So together we walked, I opened, he took things. In between, I pleaded for my life. He was anxious, distracted. Called me a “good girl,” which was not comforting. He instructed me to go into the storage room and lie down on the floor. In this fast-moving environment, the rules seemed to be: keep talking, say yes, plan exit strategy. Instead, I just sat there in the dark, thinking about my mother. But he didn’t come in. He left. Then I fell apart. The cops gave me a ride home.
My boss, who’d been on a buying trip in Italy, was notified and speedily returned to find many of the contents of his store missing. He’d been horrendously underinsured for that type of merchandise, and had sustained, by his count, a six-figure retail loss. Worse, the security camera had been out of film, and the police had no leads. They assessed it a stray hit, a junkie. My boss didn’t agree. That first night, he called me with a series of questions, initially gentle, then increasingly suspicious, until it became clear that he thought I might have been an accomplice to the crime. I interrupted with offended, aggrieved crying. Rob him! I was never even late to open up.
I don’t know why he kept me on after that — maybe he just wanted to keep an eye on me and increase his chances of apprehending the criminal. The greater mystery is why I continued to work there. I think I was operating under the notion that I could rectify the situation. I went to lineups, where I was a compliant, but useless witness — the only thing I could reliably identify was the beard, which, the cops informed me, was likely a fake or had since been shaved off. My value as a salesgirl had also plummeted, because of odd episodes of panic during which, instead of helping customers, I’d be inching toward the door with my keys, ready to take off and lock them inside.
Trauma is an odd thing. It doesn’t always adhere to the logical places. The robbery didn’t leave me afraid of being alone or getting mugged. In my memory, the thief had become less frightening and more pitiful — panicky, desperate. But I did feel guilty and ashamed for what I felt I had let happen, for not fighting back to guard all those beautiful things, and that cloud of guilt followed me places.
I left San Francisco the year after the robbery, and eventually moved to New York. By then I no longer worked in retail. I was a fact-checker at a men’s magazine and, needless to say, there wasn’t much of material value in that office. But occasionally I would still feel uneasy at work, afraid of being the cause of another catastrophe.
Then one afternoon in the late 2000s, rounding a corner downtown, I ran into a jewelry store that looked eerily familiar. I peered through the window, and recognized the designer’s work. Then I stepped back and looked at the name on the front of the store. The same! An Internet search revealed the business had relocated to New York.
Perhaps the store had followed me here so that I could confront my past. I pictured my old boss sitting inside his glass-walled enclosure, waiting for me to show up, and what? Protest my innocence again? Buy something?
I was too apprehensive to go in until a sunny Wednesday afternoon a few weeks ago, when I found myself in the neighborhood again. My heart was slamming around, but once inside, I relaxed. For one, he wasn’t there. Also, it was fascinating to be among these objects again. Gorgeous pieces: Venetian glass, icons, Victorian jewelry, a deep-set diamond ring that looked remarkably similar to the 5-carat one that, in the holdup’s heated confusion, I’d swept to the floor and buried in the carpet — my one act of resistance. It was unsettlingly nostalgic. These were things I had handled, touched, tried on and worn around the store like a downtrodden diva on many a boring afternoon, dreaming of a more exciting life. Collectively they provoked a memory, not of the robbery, but of being in my 20s.
San Francisco was the first city I really lived in. The parts of it I liked — my friends and me sitting out on the stoop in the afternoon dying each other’s hair; neighbors we knew, the phone sex operator with a sweet voice, the girl who kept little turtles in her bathtub; the Italian cafe where I used the pay phone; my linen dress and Converse sneakers; the parties — were undercut by this other reality — employment agencies; black umbrellas; bills; getting up at 6 a.m. and running for the bus in heels; not being taken seriously.
With certain memories, the mind tends to aggrandize your role, while keeping emotional experiences locked in the present tense. In the intervening years, the jewelry business had expanded, flourished. For all my misplaced guilt, the robbery’s impact had been relatively small. Even inside the prism of the store, for everything that was recognizable, far more had changed. I had, too. Even if my old boss had been there, I realized, he probably wouldn’t have recognized me.
Source: NYT & Jessica Lott is the author of the forthcoming novel “The Rest of Us.”
______________________________________________________________________
By JESSICA LOTT
When I was 23, and living in San Francisco, I worked at a high-end design and jewelry store that not many people went into. One afternoon, as I was sitting at a desk with a phone that never seemed to ring, a man came in. He had a brown beard, a gas station cap and aviator sunglasses. A knapsack. He tripped over a stool, walked up to the desk, and pulled a nine-inch chef’s knife from the waistband of his pants. Later I would wonder about this. How had he been carrying it around, comfortably?
This was 1998, and so I don’t remember exactly what he said, but I think it may have been something like, “Don’t worry.” Or more likely, “Don’t panic.” I did panic. But by then, things were in motion. He needed me to be present. The sides of the cases had a fancy little mechanism that he couldn’t figure out. So together we walked, I opened, he took things. In between, I pleaded for my life. He was anxious, distracted. Called me a “good girl,” which was not comforting. He instructed me to go into the storage room and lie down on the floor. In this fast-moving environment, the rules seemed to be: keep talking, say yes, plan exit strategy. Instead, I just sat there in the dark, thinking about my mother. But he didn’t come in. He left. Then I fell apart. The cops gave me a ride home.
My boss, who’d been on a buying trip in Italy, was notified and speedily returned to find many of the contents of his store missing. He’d been horrendously underinsured for that type of merchandise, and had sustained, by his count, a six-figure retail loss. Worse, the security camera had been out of film, and the police had no leads. They assessed it a stray hit, a junkie. My boss didn’t agree. That first night, he called me with a series of questions, initially gentle, then increasingly suspicious, until it became clear that he thought I might have been an accomplice to the crime. I interrupted with offended, aggrieved crying. Rob him! I was never even late to open up.
I don’t know why he kept me on after that — maybe he just wanted to keep an eye on me and increase his chances of apprehending the criminal. The greater mystery is why I continued to work there. I think I was operating under the notion that I could rectify the situation. I went to lineups, where I was a compliant, but useless witness — the only thing I could reliably identify was the beard, which, the cops informed me, was likely a fake or had since been shaved off. My value as a salesgirl had also plummeted, because of odd episodes of panic during which, instead of helping customers, I’d be inching toward the door with my keys, ready to take off and lock them inside.
Trauma is an odd thing. It doesn’t always adhere to the logical places. The robbery didn’t leave me afraid of being alone or getting mugged. In my memory, the thief had become less frightening and more pitiful — panicky, desperate. But I did feel guilty and ashamed for what I felt I had let happen, for not fighting back to guard all those beautiful things, and that cloud of guilt followed me places.
I left San Francisco the year after the robbery, and eventually moved to New York. By then I no longer worked in retail. I was a fact-checker at a men’s magazine and, needless to say, there wasn’t much of material value in that office. But occasionally I would still feel uneasy at work, afraid of being the cause of another catastrophe.
Then one afternoon in the late 2000s, rounding a corner downtown, I ran into a jewelry store that looked eerily familiar. I peered through the window, and recognized the designer’s work. Then I stepped back and looked at the name on the front of the store. The same! An Internet search revealed the business had relocated to New York.
Perhaps the store had followed me here so that I could confront my past. I pictured my old boss sitting inside his glass-walled enclosure, waiting for me to show up, and what? Protest my innocence again? Buy something?
I was too apprehensive to go in until a sunny Wednesday afternoon a few weeks ago, when I found myself in the neighborhood again. My heart was slamming around, but once inside, I relaxed. For one, he wasn’t there. Also, it was fascinating to be among these objects again. Gorgeous pieces: Venetian glass, icons, Victorian jewelry, a deep-set diamond ring that looked remarkably similar to the 5-carat one that, in the holdup’s heated confusion, I’d swept to the floor and buried in the carpet — my one act of resistance. It was unsettlingly nostalgic. These were things I had handled, touched, tried on and worn around the store like a downtrodden diva on many a boring afternoon, dreaming of a more exciting life. Collectively they provoked a memory, not of the robbery, but of being in my 20s.
San Francisco was the first city I really lived in. The parts of it I liked — my friends and me sitting out on the stoop in the afternoon dying each other’s hair; neighbors we knew, the phone sex operator with a sweet voice, the girl who kept little turtles in her bathtub; the Italian cafe where I used the pay phone; my linen dress and Converse sneakers; the parties — were undercut by this other reality — employment agencies; black umbrellas; bills; getting up at 6 a.m. and running for the bus in heels; not being taken seriously.
With certain memories, the mind tends to aggrandize your role, while keeping emotional experiences locked in the present tense. In the intervening years, the jewelry business had expanded, flourished. For all my misplaced guilt, the robbery’s impact had been relatively small. Even inside the prism of the store, for everything that was recognizable, far more had changed. I had, too. Even if my old boss had been there, I realized, he probably wouldn’t have recognized me.
Source: NYT & Jessica Lott is the author of the forthcoming novel “The Rest of Us.”
______________________________________________________________________
See in the article: SAVE (Suicide Awareness and Voices of Education)
See at the end of this article national numbers to call 24/7 for free counseling
Suicide, With No Warning
Not a good idea
Life is a miracle : Life is a precious gift : Life is a beautiful flower - it needs nourishment to grow :
Life is for living and growing - keep yourself alive
As you may need, seek help: 24/7 call 911, 24/7 other organizations for phone counseling - search the internet for
local numbers for counseling and suicide prevention 24/7 - see the end of this article: numbers to call
TO his large, loving family and many friends, Kerry Lewiecki was an optimist and problem-solver, with a big laugh and impressive hugs. Early in the summer of 2010, he graduated from the University of Oregon with dual degrees in law and conflict resolution; invitations went out for his August wedding to his longtime girlfriend.
Then, just a few weeks later, within the span of a few hours, he bought a gun and shot and killed himself, at age 27. His father, Mike, a doctor in Albuquerque, who still chokes up when he recalls that day, said: “We had no clue he was desperate. I don’t think he’d ever shot a gun before.”
Support for stricter gun laws is growing, impelled by a year of grisly mass murders — at a movie theater in Aurora, Colo., an elementary school in Newtown, Conn., and, most recently, by a vengeful former policeman in California. Last month, the U.S. President kicked off a continuing national debate by proposing an array of new policies, including an assault weapons ban, an expansion of background checks and restrictions on high-capacity magazines.
But more than 60 percent of gun-related deaths in the United States are suicides, like Mr. Lewiecki’s. Reducing that statistic will most likely take different interventions than are currently proposed — like waiting periods and safe storage requirements — and those are not even on the table.
While background checks might turn up people with severe mental illness who have been prone to violence, gun suicides are often committed by people whose history doesn’t suggest a serious problem. In studies, a quarter to a third of those who killed themselves were not in contact with a psychiatrist at the time of death, and the majority were not on psychiatric medicines. “The first time the family may know of the distress is when they kill themselves,” said Dr. David Gunnell, a suicide epidemiologist at the University of Bristol in England. There may be no red flags and little forethought. To carry out a campus killing rampage, perpetrators collect weapons, identify victims and select locations. In contrast, suicides are often solitary, impulsive acts, experts say.
That is why a cornerstone of suicide prevention is simple: “restricting access to common and particularly lethal means for everyone — we know that’s effective,” said Dan Reidenberg, executive director of SAVE (Suicide Awareness and Voices of Education), a national suicide prevention group.
That means different things in different places. In Britain, suicide prevention efforts in the late 1990s involved banning the sales of large bottles of paracetamol (known as Tylenol in the United States), which had been used in tens of thousands of suicide attempts each year. When I was reporting from China a decade ago, rural officials responded to an epidemic of suicide among women by restricting pesticide sales.
In the United States, we build barriers on bridges, but have fewer barriers to the quick access to guns: “In the U.S. one of the most straightforward things to do to prevent suicide is to make firearms less accessible,” Dr. Gunnell said. The Lewiecki family believes that Kerry might well be alive if there had been a waiting period before purchase in Oregon. Studies suggest that far fewer American teenagers would commit suicide if gun owners were required to use trigger locks. Seventy-five percent of the guns used in youth suicides and unintentional injuries were accessible in the home or the home of a friend.
Psychiatrists first started focusing on how much the ready availability of lethal means affected suicide rates after a fortuitous experiment in England. When the country switched its heating from coal to natural gas in the 1970s, suicide rates plummeted, because the fumes were not as deadly; gas has a far lower carbon monoxide content. Sri Lanka developed the highest suicide rate in the world in the 1980s, following the introduction of pesticides on a mass scale. Once the government removed the most toxic compounds, like Paraquat (lethal in 70 percent of cases) suicide rates dropped 50 percent, though the number of attempts dropped by less.
Studies show that once a convenient lethal method is removed, many do not seek other options. “If people go to the Golden Gate Bridge and encounter a barrier, they don’t go to the Bay Bridge and try there,” Dr. Reidenberg said.
INDEED, many people who commit suicide are more momentarily desperate than classically depressed, experts say. In Sri Lanka, “pesticide was often taken after an argument with a parent or a spouse,” said Dr. Gunnell, who studied that epidemic.
Up to 50 percent of people who attempt suicide make the decision to do so within minutes to an hour before they act, studies have found. They may be depressed or have contemplated suicide, “but the final decision comes very quickly, and there’s often ambivalence up to the moment,” Dr. Reidenberg said.
Although SAVE has not taken a specific policy position on firearms, it maintains that guns, just like dangerous medicines, should be safely stored.
But putting time between a suicidal impulse and getting a loaded gun in hand may be hard to legislate in the United States. A 2008 Supreme Court decision struck down a Washington, D.C., law that required weapons to be stored disassembled or to have trigger locks on the grounds that the law interfered with the right to self-defense; a handful of states still mandate the safety features. While the 1993 Brady Violence Prevention Act required a five-day waiting period for a background check before firearms purchases, the provision expired in 1998 and checks are now done through the Internet-enabled National Instant Check System, in minutes.
Would a wait have deterred Kerry Lewiecki? In law school he had developed severe pain in his hands, arms and back that was not responding well to treatment. Despite that, he enjoyed weekends with his fiancée, and they spoke on the morning of his death. That same day he mailed books to his parents’ home, in preparation for a Father’s Day visit.
Said his father, “If it had not been so easy to buy a gun maybe he would have spoken with someone or woken up the next morning and heard the birds and felt better.”
Source: NYT
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